Recipe: Hobo Greens

Ingredients:

• Dandelion greens (or whatever other greens are in your yard).
• Water
• Salt (if you have any)
  
• Whatever random other stuff that just happens to be in your cupboard.

Go out into your yard--if you have one--with a plastic bag you saved from the days when you could afford groceries. "Those were good days," you think to yourself, and wipe a tear from your cheek. Snap out of it, you haven't eaten in three days. Pick dandelion greens (or whatever other leafy material is handy--being from the South, I find Kudzu to be a good alternative) and stick them in the bag. Get as many as you can find. Go back inside--if you have a home--and boil some water in a large pot. Shred greens with fingers and throw in pot. Add salt. Add onions, garlic, bacon, etc. if you like...but if you have that stuff you're too rich to be eating this, so bite me.

When greens are tender, eat them while weeping in a dark room. Keep leftovers in a cereal bowl inside the tied-up grocery bag you used earlier. This will keep the greens fresh, so that you can again pretend to be eating actual food tomorrow, or maybe the next day.

Bon appetit!